RCCG Sunday School Students’ Manual 3 July 2022 | Lesson 44
Table of Contents
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TOPIC: Apologising Correctly
MEMORY VERSE: “Let us therefore follow after the things which make for peace, and things wherewith one may edify another.” – Romans 14:19 (KJV)
BIBLE PASSAGE: 1 Samuel 15:12-26 (KJV)
RCCG Sunday School Students’ Manual 3 July 2022 | LESSON INTRODUCTION:
Originally, the word ‘apology’ (apologia in Greek) means a defence, excuse, or justification in speech or writing, as for a cause or doctrine. However, towards the end of the 16th century there was a twist in the use of the word ‘apology’ to mean a written or spoken expression of one’s regret, remorse, or sorrow for having insulted, failed, injured, or wronged another.
As Christians, we know we are meant to be kind, loving, humble and respectful (Eph.4:32). One true test of this is how we handle situations when we have been wronged or wrong others. A lot of people find it hard to admit when confronted with the wrongs they have committed. Some may even find it harder to ask someone for forgiveness especially when they feel the other person shares in the blame.
RCCG Sunday School Students’ Manual 3 July 2022 | LESSON OUTLINES:
- WHY ‘I AM SORRY’ IS NOT ENOUGH?
- THE CORRECT APPROACH
1. WHY ‘I AM SORRY’ IS NOT ENOUGH?
There is a subtle but sensitive difference between saying ‘sorry’ and apologising correctly. Most times, people’s idea of apology is insufficient. For some, offering an apology is all about verbally saying ‘I am sorry’ but this is only a band-aid in that it covers up painful events for the other person without really making things right. It does not also fully take into account the level of wrong done. Although, simply saying ‘I am sorry’ might ease the tension of bumping into someone accidentally or mistakenly saying what should not be said, but when we have truly wronged someone, that person needs us to accept responsibility for the pain caused.
Saying sorry just because we are caught and not because we are humble enough to truly admit our wrongs or shifting blames (making excuses) is called ‘fauxpology’ (false apology). This is wrong and God is not impressed (Gen.50:15-18; 1Sam.15:24-26).
Therefore, a true apology focuses on your actions and not on the other person’s response/reaction.
2. THE CORRECT APPROACH
Whenever we wronged God or someone else, God expects us to make things right (2 Chron.7:14). Often, when a person apologises in a wrong way, the offence is not cleared. Some of the wrong approaches to apologising include the following statements:
1.”I was wrong, but you were wrong too.” This is incorrect because you are not taking full responsibility for your offence.
2.”If I have been wrong, please forgive me.” To use “If” before your apology means that you are saying, “I am not really convinced that I was wrong.” Therefore, it is not a real apology.
3.”I am sorry I know I lost my temper, but you made me do it.” This is wrong because you are not taking responsibility for your wrong-doing but putting the blame on the other person.
4. “I said I was sorry. What more do you want from me?” This apology is not correct because the tone is aggressive, not remorseful and may not give the offended enough time to heal.
To apologise correctly, we should take full responsibility for our offence, name the offence, ask the person to forgive us and wait for the answer (Matt.5:23-24). If need be, offer also to make restitution (Lk.19:8).
Here is an example of the right way to apologise: “Christy, I was wrong in losing my temper and talking to you the way I did. Please forgive me.” To settle the matter completely, if the person says that you are forgiven, it is good to ask, “Do I need to say any more about this matter?”
When a Christian apologises correctly, he is demonstrating humility, a character quality God holds in high esteem (James 4:10). Being reconciled to an offended brother or sister should be our priority (Matt.5:23-24). Note that you do not apologise to people for being right with God (1John 3:21).
Biblical examples of those that offered apologies correctly include the prodigal son (Lk.15:17-20) and Jacob (Gen.32,33).
CONCLUSION: Apologising correctly humbles us and reminds us that we still make mistakes and need forgiveness from God and others.
RCCG Sunday School Students’ Manual 3 July 2022 QUESTIONS:
- Why is that ‘I am sorry’ is not enough?
- What is the correct approach to apologies?
FURTHER READING:
Monday: 2 Chronicles 7:14 (KJV)
14 If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.
Tuesday: Matthew 5:23-24 (KJV)
23 Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee; 24 Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift.
Wednesday: James 4:10 (KJV)
10 Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up.
Thursday: 1 Samuel 15:24-26 (KJV)
24 And Saul said unto Samuel, I have sinned: for I have transgressed the commandment of the Lord, and thy words: because I feared the people, and obeyed their voice. 25 Now therefore, I pray thee, pardon my sin, and turn again with me, that I may worship the Lord. 26 And Samuel said unto Saul, I will not return with thee: for thou hast rejected the word of the Lord, and the Lord hath rejected thee from being king over Israel.
Friday: Luke 19:8-9 (KJV)
8 And Zacchaeus stood, and said unto the Lord: Behold, Lord, the half of my goods I give to the poor; and if I have taken any thing from any man by false accusation, I restore him fourfold. 9 And Jesus said unto him, This day is salvation come to this house, forsomuch as he also is a son of Abraham.
Saturday: 1 John 3:21-24 (KJV)
21 Beloved, if our heart condemn us not, then have we confidence toward God. 22 And whatsoever we ask, we receive of him, because we keep his commandments, and do those things that are pleasing in his sight. 23 And this is his commandment, That we should believe on the name of his Son Jesus Christ, and love one another, as he gave us commandment. 24 And he that keepeth his commandments dwelleth in him, and he in him. And hereby we know that he abideth in us, by the Spirit which he hath given us.
Sunday: Hebrews 12:14-15 (KJV)
14 Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord: 15 Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled;
ASSIGNMENT: Find five (5) similarities between apology and restitution.
RCCG Sunday School HYMN
- O Sunday School, on the Lord’s day,
O how I love Thee well,
I am happy, it makes me glad
To rejoice at Thy birth. - O Sunday School, on the Lord’s day,
Thy friendship suits me well,
Both young and old will sing Thy song,
We long for Sunday School. - O Sunday School, on the Lord’s day,
Christ was Thy first teacher,
The Holy Spirit, great teacher,
Does manifest in thee. - O Sunday School, on the Lord’s day,
This testimony is sure,
That God, the Father Almighty,
Poured His blessing on Thee. - O Sunday School, on the Lord’s day,
Though the sun be so bright,
Or if the clouds black with rain,
I’ll be in Sunday School. - O Sunday School, on the Lord’s day,
I rejoice to see Thee,
Will thou pass over me today?
Without my being blest?
Thanks for reading RCCG Sunday School Students’ Manual 3 July 2022